|Your guide to stratusfaction on WWE Network
Ok, ok, I know I said I was going to post again next week. But that would leave us a week behind on every new episode, and I'd like to post the column the day after the show airs. I like to have some type of time management! So let's jump right into it, because we have a lot to talk about!
We start with Michelle and Eric returning back to the house after the elimination ceremony. Eric is talking to a few of the contestants about how he needs to get in shape for the competition and feels that with the workouts they do, he will definitely get into shape quickly. If I recall from the first episode he has been doing this for 4 years prior to coming to the house. Wouldn't 4 years be a long enough time span to get into ring shape? Or did he take a few years vacation in between his 4 years experience, kind of like Michelle did? Maybe we'll find out soon enough! Matt, on the other hand, doesn't have faith in Eric's ability to stay in the contest and thinks Eric will be the next to go. I would watch what you say Matt! You don't want bad karma coming to bite you in the behind!
The next day, we are taken to practice where the ever-so-loving Bill DeMott is giving out hugs and picking flowers with the students. Sounds real believable doesn't it? Stone Cold Steve Austin shows up to talk to the students about courage. He does it without dropping one F-bomb too! Now that sounds unbelievable! I'm not holding out for this attitude to stick around for long. Bill takes the students back in the ring to practice headlock takeovers and bodyslams. Ryan a.k.a. Skidmark continues to take a verbal beating from Bill - I almost feel bad for the kid cause he looks like he's going to bust out in tears every time Bill chastises him! We go into the first commercial break, and we have yet to see Trish! What is this horrible life?!?!
We return from break and much to my delight, I hear "30 seconds!" from a familiar voice. Justice has been served! Trish is on the outside of the ring working with Matt and Martin. She talks to Matt and asks him about his wrestling name and what his style is. "Flips, high-flying" is Matt's reply, which brings a spark to Trish's voice and she seems intrigued. She wants to see what he has to bring to the table considering he's been in the business for 9 years. Hopefully he can show us better than Michelle could! The trainers start a 3 minute wrestling bout between Matt and Luke in the ring. Let's see what he's made of people! Midway through, Trish points out that Matt left and wanted to know where he went, implying that Matt was showing no expression or character while he was performing. "Luke's going to take Matt's opportunity!" says Trish. Step up your game Matt, this is your chance! After the bout, Trish asks Matt why he didn't back up his claims and show her all he had. Matt said he was worried about making mistakes and was nervous, hence why he didn't do his best. Trish reassured him to make it happen and ended the conversation on a positive, encouraging note. She's suppose to be mean, but can you really see Trish making someone feel like they would feel if it was Stone Cold or Bill talking to them? Nah, I didn't think so. Our first guest of the series arrives, and it is John Cena. He talks to the students and has them ask questions for advice. All the questions are pretty good, including who he would like to work with who he hasn't. Cena stares at Stone Cold and they both laugh. C'Mon Cena, you have to take on Rock next year at Wrestlemania 28. Stop being greedy! Rima, on the other hand, had ulterior motives for this personal Q&A session! When chosen to ask a question, she asks,"Will you marry me?" Hmmm, she wanted some interesting advice about the business! Once the Q&A is over, the students continue to train with Cena looking on and evaluating them. Another day in the books means another night of partying, which included Stone Cold impressions, rough housing, and blossoming bromances!
The next day, some students worked out while Skidmark sat on his bed writing love letters. He expresses some deep feelings about his girlfriend and starts to get a little emotional talking about her. Do you think you'll be able to be in WWE when you're on the road 300+ days a year away from her as opposed to the 2 weeks you have currently been on? Hey Ryan, if you win, maybe your girlfriend can try out for the next season of Tough Enough, win, and you can travel together and be happy! The students head to the training facility where Stone Cold enters and tells them to get their running shoes on and get outside. Bill and Stone Cold are waiting for them with a few of their friends… Attack dogs! This should be entertaining and painful all at the same time! Each contestant is to run from checkpoint to checkpoint as the dogs chase them. While the dogs pummeled a few of them, others persevered. Eric dragged his dog once it latched onto his arm, Matt is jerked around a bit but succeeds, and Luke does it with ease (is there anything this guy can't do perfectly?!). Mickael was on the losing end again this week. After telling the cameras he was going to pass this with flying colors, he actually wanted them to unleash two dogs on him! Did he not learn anything last week when he had 2 Divas unleashing on him? Needless to say, Mickael had one dog chase him and it took him down. There's always next week he can redeem himself - third time's a charm! Next up, Miss USA! The dog took her down, bit her twice, and rip out some of her hair, but she took it like a champ! Way to bust down those preconceived notion walls, Rima! Stone Cold told them that was their lesson in courage, saying the actual hit is not as bad as you perceive it to be at first. Good lesson, if I do say so myself! Now I know you all reading are saying why was Trish not present for this task? Well sadly, but at the same time happily, Trish was at Monday Night Raw kicking LayCool and Vickie Guerrero booty! Yes, she is an amazing woman, but she can only be in one place at a time. Hey, you were Stratusfied when you were watching Raw, weren't you?!
It's Skills Challenge day! As the students stretch, Bill notices one of the students is missing. Rima comes strolling in 20 minutes later and apologizes for it. Regardless, this is not acceptable at all. Stone Cold tells the students that Booker T is gone to record SmackDown, but Trish has returned! Ok, now it's time to catch up on our Trish fix! Stone Cold tells the students that their Skills Challenge is called Five for Flinching. The challenge consists of each student standing in the corner while Bill charges from the opposite corner, giving them a big splash followed by 5 bodyslams. As fear enters the eyes of the students, Trish is shown with a smile on her face. You evil, evil woman! As I watched the challenge, I felt like I was having trouble breathing because Bill charged them so hard; I would think that being hit by a Mack truck would be much less painful! Much to my surprise, all of the students did the challenge successfully with no griping. Stone Cold told them he, Trish, and Bill were going to have a meeting about the next elimination.
In the office, Stone Cold asks who was the on the top of their list. Trish said she was becoming a fan of Luke and liked how he was stepping up his game while Bill agreed that he is the one to beat. Eric was described as lacking ability to learn, while Ryan was labeled as a goof. When asked about Matt, Trish says he blew it when she gave him his moment. Ouch! She also said he didn't "light up" when he was given his moment and give any personality or character. Next up is Rima, who no one refuted the agreement that she was tough. Stone Cold pointed out that he's not sure if her body can handle the life of a WWE Superstar, but Trish shot back that she was in the same exact position when she started with WWE back in 2000. And we certainly know she broke down every wall that no one thought was possible! Bill brings up the fact that she was late, which does not sit too well with Stone Cold. Meeting adjourned, and the final 3 up for elimination are Ryan, Matt, and Rima. Back at the house, Michelle gives some positive words to Matt, but also agrees that he needs to put his personality into his work. Rima talks about how she's nervous because she doesn't know what they're going to say to her, but Eric makes a wise suggestion: shave her head into a mohawk. Can anyone say Luna Vachon: 2011 edition? Meanwhile, Mickael is telling Ryan that he will be going home because he sucks and that Mickael is better than him. How ironic considering Ryan won the dog challenge while Mickael failed, yet gloated about how he would win it. He just doesn't know when to shut up, does he? "You're definitely not coming back tonight!" I guess we'll see about that one, won't we Mickael?
Elimination time has arrived, and Stone Cold's nice guy attitude we saw in the beginning of the episode is quickly thrown out the window. He asks all the contestants what they see when they look in the mirror. Rima said she's a pretty girl to everyone, but would like to prove everyone that she's more than that. Matt talks about his gymnastics background, how he's entertaining, and thinks the contest is the perfect combination of everything he has to offer. Ryan sees a strong individual who sets the bar for the next level. By the music they chose to play following that statement, I could tell cuss words were about to fly and yelling was to follow! Stone Cold asks Ryan how long it took for him to think of that BS and moves onto Matt, asking what he's doing here in the bottom 3. Matt says he hasn't shown everything he has to offer and Stone Cold tells him that he hasn't shown anything more than Miss USA has shown him, and she has only been involved for 2 weeks compared to Matt's 9 years! And to top if off, he didn't listen to our girl! The focus is brought to Rima, who is asked about why she was late, to which she responds that she didn't know what time they had to be at practice. Did she not get the cue when the rest of the students left at the same time? Stone Cold commends her for being in the right state of mind but goes back to the fact that he doesn't think she can physically handle it. Stone Cold asks Ryan why he rubs everyone the wrong way, to which he responds that he does not know what he did to bother anyone, especially Bill. Matt is asked why Ryan should be eliminated, with Matt saying Ryan has an inability to stay away from his girlfriend for long lengths of time. Hmm he's onto something here! Stone Cold tells him he needs to toughen up and stop acting like sissy. The attention is back on Matt, who says he's "waiting for his moment." Stone Cold tells his tale of how he started out as the Ringmaster and broke into the Stone Cold gimmick, becoming an instant success. He implied that had he "waited for his moment" than he would be backstage jerking curtains while Triple H, John Cena, and the like were hogging the main event. Matt asked if he could say something. FOR THE HELL OF IT, PERMISSION GRANTED! Matt said he didn't want to do anything flashy or over the top and figured there would be a time and place for it, but Stone Cold cut him off and said that is was too late to do anything. He told Rima to never be late again, told Ryan to get his stuff together, and told Matt he was going home. Stone Cold walked up to Matt and grabbed his belt but Matt resisted. He said he wasted his time playing it safe and didn't impress anyone. Matt told Stone Cold he could show him a few moves now and while Stone Cold agreed, he said the competition was over. Matt gave up the belt and left the training facility, in shock and disbelief. I was surprised too with this elimination, especially due to Matt's longevity in the business compared to other contestants. This is definitely an eye-opener for all the others to do what you're told when given the chance to shine. Matt now joins Ariane and is the second contestant eliminated. I told you to watch your back with that karma, Matt! Lastly though, I can't wait to see Mickael's face when Skidmark comes strolling back in the house!
Thank you everyone for reading! I hope you enjoyed this week's episode as much as I did! And seriously, I WILL return next week! So don't come back here tomorrow looking for a column on an episode that hasn't even aired yet! Feedback is always welcome and appreciated! Have a good week everyone!
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